Hold your fire!

[Local Talent]

I was working graveyard at a client's mansion. It was the beginning of my shift, around 2000 hrs, and the night was dark.
The Man had briefly come home to pick up his wife and was about to leave for an event. As usual, his F/T chauffeur was standing by, next to the limo in the dimly lit motorcourt. I normally hung around to watch over the proceedings, but decided to use the restroom since I had a few minutes and couldn't stand the driver, an absolute moron.

The restroom we used was outside the residence, by the driveway and a few feet from the motorcourt. Once I turned off the lights and came out, I found myself in near total darkness. As I was stepping out in the open, I got a whiff of a familiar smell: tobacco.
I stood still, the time to recover my night vision and ready to blow anyone about to jump me right to hell, but I was pretty sure I knew what was up. Sure enough, and sensing that he was now playing with fire, my client's driver announced himself (one of the very few smart things I ever saw him do): "Hey, LT, it's me! I was gonna try and scare ya...". "Smart, man, very smart.", I simply replied. He had been standing behind a tree, less than 20' away, and thought that an ambush would be fun. :rolleyes:
The guy was hopeless and tried to pull a few more stunts like that, to "test my reflexes", during my time at the account.

I'm not telling this story to reinforce how alert we should be - we all know that, but to illustrate the restraint we have to show on a lot of details.
We're often surrounded by clueless folks (not a crime! :)), and striking them or sticking a gun in their face would NOT be well received!

Most people are very intrigued by what we do and how much we can handle, so they'll try and push our buttons a bit to see what we're made of. Or they'll simply be terminally unaware of the consequences that their actions could bring.
Your client's relatives or associates may have keys and/or codes that you haven't been notified of, and they'll think nothing of rushing into a house that's not theirs at 1 am!

[Mata-Leão]

That is an interesting occurrence. If you are overwhelmingly comfortable with going to an extreme level, I can tell you how create an unspoken cease and desist with that driver (if you had the ability to travel back in time, that is).

When you saw him in the dark and he stated, "Hey, LT, it's me! I was gonna try and scare ya..." You should have immediately started remarking about how lovingly brilliant his eyes looked under the starlight...:( Nevermind, that tactic was going nowhere positive.

BUT, you know, a good childrens plastic wiffle bat causes long lasting emotional duress but leaves minimal exterior damage. Furthermore, it is highly invigorating to hear that hollow *thump* when it hits his brainless skull. Should he continue with his tom-foolery, you are at least obtaining moments of joy.


"Dear Diary: The driver jumped out of a closet today...again. This time, I had a thumb tack taped to the end of my wiffle bat. His shrieks and panicked screams are responsible for the best sleep I have experienced in years. I feel like I am Inspector Clouseau always waiting to be attacked by Kato."

[Local Talent]

I feel like I am Inspector Clouseau always waiting to be attacked by Kato."
Oh, I did fantasize a lot about what I'd do to that idiot, but I'll leave the details to your imagination. ;)

Funny you'd mention Kato...
My last job was a robbery suppression gig in a retail store. Only the staff knew what I was doing there by the front door, and a lot of joking went on.
One guy in particular kept trying to sneak up on me. You have to bear in mind that scolding/lecturing people usually backfires, since no one likes to be basically called stupid and childish in front of their friends. So I let it become a game and even told him that he would be "my Kato" (not sure whether he was old enough to get it) and "keep me sharp". :rolleyes:

Less amusing was that jewelry salesman who tried to grab my gun a few years back...
Those who have worked retail are familiar with the type: constantly depressed, worried about their "numbers", making sarcastic comments about anyone in sight... especially that poor uniformed guard "just standing there". They make enough to live in nice areas and drive luxury cars, but they always talk about the pressures of the job and joke about their death wish.
Well, one day while there were no customers on the floor, the dude jokingly just went for my holstered weapon!
I quickly covered my gun and pushed the guy away, then told him that after his next try he'd be picking up his teeth all over the floor. :mad:

[D.aborb]

Damn Thanks KINO.....but tell me suppm......summadi tell yuh seh mi have chubble reading fine prints??? Or was your objective just to stand out from the crowd?

[Local Talent]

:confused:

[Mata-Leão]

Damn Thanks KINO.....but tell me suppm......summadi tell yuh seh mi have chubble reading fine prints??? Or was your objective just to stand out from the crowd?

I am going to have to agree with D.aborb on this one LT. He's a straight shooter - tells it like it is.

Furthermore, I don't think we can be friends anymore. I have formed an alliance with D.aborb and we are going to be the first bodyguard company that speaks solely in Ebonics. We plan to extend our services to those who REALLY need it, but can't afford it. Wach ya-selv Compton, CaLi, dis is how we do - an we be werk'n for dem foood stampz yo.

[Dykhofft]

I is a white guy dat can speak ebonics can I jump on dat allianz?

[Local Talent]

Yow! I can tell that you guys aren't from California: the PC fairy hasn't gotten around to paying you a visit yet...

I'm gonna go with: please don't drink and post, kids. :)

Seriously, D.aborb's post made me wonder, with its possible cryptic hint to NDAs (?), whether an old co-worker, client (or... their driver) had somehow found this site and recognized themselves in one of my stories.
Well, if that's the case, tough! I'm not making anything up or giving up any names/addresses, etc.
Matter of fact, I'd have a lot more juicy stuff to tell if the stories weren't so... identifiable. But I don't post without giving a lot of thought to potential ramifications.
And I very much doubt that the owners of this site would want their "stories from the field" to turn into an airing of dirty laundry.

Still wondering what/who KINO is...

[Mata-Leão]

I is a white guy dat can speak ebonics can I jump on dat allianz?

The Alliance just became 'Incorporated' by the addition of Dykhofft. In one sentence he was able to convey the hardcore street skills needed to roll with the best.

Dykhofft - you will be receiving your XXXX-large white gold rope association necklace in the mail in 6 weeks.

[Dykhofft]

I am well versed in many languages. If you happen to create a Nerd Alliance I am able to speak L33T Sp3K Rotflmao.

[Local Talent]

[...] I am able to speak L33T Sp3K Rotflmao.
:confused: Damn, I'm old... :D

[Mata-Leão]

I don't even understand. I went to look it up on the internet and found a slew of possible origins and meanings. When these kinds of 'things' pop up, I assume it could be linked to some underground World of Warcraft crowd.

I guess you can enlighten us Dykhofft...

Does is simply mean internet slang??

[Local Talent]

3 is E. LEET stands for ELITE. It's geek stuff, alright: Leet - Wikipedia, the free encyclopedia.

[Dykhofft]

As LT explained it is what we in the "Electronic Age" as Leetspeak. This is the kind of information that you would need if you principal was lets say Bill Gates or any other Silicon Valley nerd type. It could help you in the long run to learn this new form of internet chat.

[Local Talent]

[...] we in the "Electronic Age" [...]
HA!HA! I still live sometime in the last century myself, but I had a gut feeling. Hacker/gamer/computer nerd speak...

You're right, Dykhofft: any knowledge is good and can be helpful on the job. I know that since Excel and Outlook give me hives, I like having a computer guy on my team whenever I get a chance. :o

Talking about our brave new electronic age, did anyone happen to catch the episode of the Discovery Channel's "That's Impossible" series called "Real Terminators"? What's being developed today, in terms of AI and communication technology, is the stuff of the sci-fi books I read as a kid. I found all that fascinating then, but now I'm thinking The Sorcerer's Apprentice and 1984.
Boy, I hope I die young 'cause I don't wanna see that future...

So back on topic, when a client is a techie, I usually come out right away copping to living "in the dark ages still", ya know, guns and internal combustion engines. They understand.

Less understanding are EP companies that now expect the newer generations of agents to be computer and tech-savvy ("What, you don't use skype? Whaddya mean, you don't have an online profile?!"). :(
That was one of the reasons behind that rant: http://www.socalbodyguards.com/forum/showthread.php?t=213, because IME and at my level, the job can be done w/o resorting to all the toys.
As I said before, if I saw people show up when scheduled, on time, properly attired, awake, willing to work, and equipped with a reasonable kit (as discussed here: http://www.socalbodyguards.com/forum/showthread.php?t=159) every day, I think most ops would go down like butter. But it's FAR from the case, so I much prefer focusing on basics first.
I have seriously considered starting a company called "Old School" and based on just that. :)
[Oops, sorry about the tangent, guys - I have "issues", can you tell already?... :D]

[Lone Wolf]

Old School rulez.. LOL but even as a pretty old dog myself I still try and stay up on the techie side of that stuff... I have online profiles webpage(being built) and other "high tech" gizzmos and gadgets.. I use some of the latest and greatest equipment in my investigations and still I remain OLD SCHOOL.. WHY?? Because I have seen when New stuff fails... OLD SCHOOL STILL RULEZ and if you cant think or havent been trained OLD SCHOOL.. Then your going to be lost... Think outside the box... Always have a back up plan or thought process.. The what if process always works well in my book...

[Local Talent]

I think you're right, Wolf.

I drag my feet a lot because I'm old enough to remember books like Future Shock (by futurologist Alvin Toffler, who paved the way for the cyberpunk movement - you know, The Matrix and Terminator movies, among other things). The future brought on by exploding IT is not all rosy.

But the modern EP agent can't afford not to be on top of all the surveillance/counter-surveillance and coms technology stuff.

[Lone Wolf]

Even though OLD SCHOOL RULEZ... We still need to stay up on technology otherwise we will have a tendency to go the way of the dinosaur...

[Local Talent]

I can already smell tar... :D

Seriously, in post #15, the correct channel for "That's Impossible" is the History Channel, of course. I've been watching a lot of those scientific shows and catching a lot of (brilliant) Michio Kaku and (smug) Neil DeGrasse Tyson videos, lately. Scientists are working hard at ways to put RFID chips in everything that surrounds us, to "enhance" our experience of our environment: we'd be recognized by our appliances, furniture, etc., like Tom Cruise being greeted by name at The Gap after an iris scan in The Minority Report.
Brave, smart, new world! :machinegunner:
I can't wait until Big Brother and Big Business (obviously both behind this) get a hold of all the wonderful possibilities! It's already been shown that once outside our homes, we are performing for the camera hundreds of times a day (satellites, ATM, stores CCTV, traffic, gas stations, etc.)...

[Lone Wolf]

:confused: Damn, I'm old... :D

LOL LT I think that we have established that Im the old dog here... LMAO.. Hope you guys in Cali are doing well.. Ill be there some time in Jan to start all my processes... Looking around the 17th or so..

[Local Talent]

Shoot me a PM when you get close to making the trip, will ya? What part of Cali (it's big)?

[Lone Wolf]

YEAH YEAH thats what they (who ever the hell they are) say... Ok now on with business..

I will be in the San Fernando Valley, From what I have had explained to me it is what is called North Hollywood... Does that sound about right???

Oh if it sounds like I dont know anything its because I dont..

The wife says lets go Im like OK..

My analogy on this is: And REMEMBER THIS YOU MAY NEED IT SOME TIME IN THE FUTURE...

HAPPY WIFE HAPPY LIFE 4 very simple words to remember and live by..

[Local Talent]

Yep, NoHo is in the SFV. South-east corner, to be precise. The Valley is huge.

Otherwise, what you said reminded me why I'm still not married: I just have to make me happy! :)

[Lone Wolf]

What you said reminded me why I'm still not married: I just have to make me happy! :) LOL well I did it again but I swore I wouldnt... Im getting to the point I want someone around now days to help with the aches and pains of the days activities... Yeah shes great company too... Being single wasnt to bad but Im liking my situation way to much as it is now.. Im starting to think about slowing down coming out of the field and maybe soon retiring who knows...

I was told the other night by a young club manager that I was to old to work in his club.. (HARD ROCK)... That was before I had him on the ground screaming like a baby.... After that I left... Had a great time and even got paid for the night too...

[Local Talent]

:D:D:D I know what you mean... I'm often too "small" for people's taste.
Oh, well, nothing personal, no hard feelings at all. It's like the guy who calls an escort agency and requests a 6' blonde... Whaddya wanna do? ;) :devil2:

[Mata-Leão]

Funny!

Well, I must admit, I have it quite...perfect. I work in a country of small people. Most of the guys are what we would normally refer to in the States as "runts". I would not say that I tower over anyone here, but close to it. I am 6 foot and 176 pounds of twisted steel and sex appeal...(hold on, I forgot which forum I was on). Anyway, if the normal person here is 5'7" and 5'8" - then a 6 foot guy seems larger. At the local gym, I was surprised to find almost all the members very petite. Only a few guys have much muscular size to them. So, I don't have to deal with any derogatory remarks about my Anti-Hulkness...and that is nice.

It all comes down to the way you carry yourself, eye contact, posture and how many socks you stuff in your underwear.

ANYONE that would make a negative remark about someones size or age in relation to trained ability are grossly unaware of the real world.

Very late for me and the bed is screaming my name.

[Lone Wolf]

Well Im about 5'11" I am in excess of 240 lbs.. No Im not that muscular unfortunately... The years of age and injuries have done their damage as well... Its all good.. I dont have short man complex at all but the way I carry myself, people dont mess with me... If they do I can if necessary rip their heads off and... Oh wait not here... Anyway...

I totally agree it has nothing to do with age its all about the skill set in fact us older guys have something that alot of the younger guys dont...

We have maturaty skills and are not as agressive as alot of the younger guys... Now None of you young guys take this wrong ok... There is a certain amount of confidence in us older guys that shine above all... Most of the time...

[Local Talent]

I wish I were as fast as a few years back, but the thing is, I've learned to pick my battles and that's invaluable. Plus having BTDT helps a lot in projecting that necessary confidence.

It's a reality that sometimes big, heavy and/or younger agents are needed. For celebrity details, for example. What annoys me is when people (employers, clients, or colleagues) focus on that primarily, when this is not a mission requirement. And it's one reason why I don't like sending stats or body shots. The flip side is if that is gonna disqualify me, then it's probably for the best because I don't wanna work for them.

Most pros recognize that while size can be an advantage, in most cases it doesn't matter, and this can apply to caliber discussion, and others as well... ;)

Smarts, skills, and experience... now, that's another matter.

[Lone Wolf]

Well LT.. I believe that one day we all go to pasture.. To me Im not going peacefully.. When it is my time... I am going sliding in sideways yelling at the top of my lungs.. HOLY SHIT WHAT A RIDE... In the mean time.. I continue and am finding a certain amount of satisfaction about being able to train younger guys.. To me its kind of fun..

I mean yeah I heard that there are two kinds of people.. .

Those that can do...

Those that can not train..

Well let me just say this..

There are those of us who have been in the field (in some cases alot longer than we should have been) but through our knowledge and experience we are able to pass the knowledge on to those who are willing to listen and learn.. It isnt about bragging rights.. Its about having been there done that worn the t shirt out a few times... Passing our knowledge and experience on to the next generation..

AHHHH but you must be wondering now.. HAS THE WOLF GIVEN UP??? OH HELL NO.. Im just alot more selective about who what when and where I do things now days...

[Geo]

Glad to hear your passing down your experience and training wolf.....